Everyone in America who is familiar with American norms and
culture knows the rule of the black body when it comes to hair, clothes, nails,
body parts. . . .(everything under the sun), which is look and admire all you
want but DO NOT TOUCH! Or as I like to say in my sassy voice, look with your
eyes and not with your hands! We also observe the unspoken norms of personal
space which are non-existent here in the Philippines. With that being said, I present my soapbox.
When I
first came into the country I wore my hair in a pony tail from my last blow out
that was still intact, however as time passed and the weather became more
humid, this hairstyle was impossible to maintain, therefore I began to wear my
hair in braids. The sight of my hair was
unfamiliar to many and they were curious as to how I accomplished this
hair-do. Then they wanted to touch my
hair, as if touching it would give them more insight into how this style can be
done. This did not bother me as I did
not think this was a big deal. It’s just hair right? So when I moved to site this became more of
an interest to girls that I work with, who began to braid their hair. One houseparent commented the girls are emulating
you. I was flattered by the thought of
others wanting to be like me. It’s not every
day that you have young Filipino ladies copying an African-American woman.
As my co-workers became more
comfortable with me and gathered the courage to talk to me more, they began to
ask about my body. They would comment
that I was “mataba” (fat or healthy depending on the context) but had a nice
shape and curves. I would respond by
saying I’m not fat but thick (in my sassy voice)! They would say “oh, yes” and
smile. But of late my butt has been of
interest to them, as they ask me how I get it so nice and they sometimes touch
it! Yes they caress my ass! Oh my, one woman told me that she bought foam to
put in her jeans so that her butt could be like mines and had me touch her butt
to confirm it as she touched mines! I wonder what they are thinking at the
exact time that they touch my butt? What do they think that if they rub it, it
will bring them good luck like a Buddha’s belly or the tree stump from
“Showtime at Apollo”? Another older woman rubbed both of my cheeks one at a
time! They are really amazed at it. When
I see them coming my way I tend to move out of the way but then they sneak up
behind me. I’m thinking to myself like
this is a center for girls who have been sexually abused and you all are
grabbing my butt? Oh gosh. Now if you grab
my hips and waist, no problem, but the bum is my private space! (In my sassy voice)! But they don’t do it in
front of men only when there are only ladies around.
So if you have a fatty or natural
hair . . . good luck and welcome to the Pines!
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