Where did the time go?

Year one in Peace Corps service here in the Philippines is complete.  I have waited for this moment since I arrived in country because I use it as a marker of the time I have been gone but also as a measurement to my successful duration, strength and will over the last months.  It's very arbitrary to say the least in a country where success is not measured in time but in the moments that are shared with people you love and have helped you along the way.  They don't count down the days until the next event but instead enjoy each moment leading up to that moment.  This is a major difference from our Western culture and that of the Filipinos. So however we want to measure it 365 days, 1 year, 12 months, or 525,600 memorable minutes, my first year is now gone and merely a memory.

So what can I say about this past year?  Well it has been overwhelming and full of personal exploration and challenges.  I've had to find balance between staying in contact with people at home and forming new relationships here. I've had to let go of my need to be in control and trust in the decision making of others for my well-being (no easy thing).  I've had the endure the companionship of people I don't really care for but have recognized that besides the petty differences, we need each other for support and to continue our collective mission.  At the end of this experience none of the quarrels will matter, but what we will remember our travels, trainings and the fun times we've had along the way. I had to balance the essence of my being- being an African American woman in a culture that is vaguely familiar with African American culture but recognizes my skin color difference. I've had to negotiate eating foods that I typically didn't' care for in order to appease my host family and others because if I didn't it would mean offending them in this culture.  I've had to give up on personal space.  That is non-existent here for the most part. (But on the other-hand I ask this question, what is wrong with being close to people who you like and hugging and rubbing each others backs or hands or arms.  When I come home in a few weeks I hope my family and friends will be ready for that! hahaha!)

 I sing out loud and don't care what people think, I have walked down streets and the guys wait until I pass them and say "hey, text me maybe!".  I've dealt with the guilt of going on beautiful vacations but leaving my co-workers in the office because they can't afford to travel or stepping over and passing homeless people laying on the streets of Manila.  The dis-proportionality in wealth is just astonishing! I've slept on foam, real mattresses, floors, bamboo bed runners, futons, etc.

 But my most memorable experience from this past year is that I smiled more than I have cried! Cheers to the first year of service and here's to finishing strong.

Thanks for reading!