A Play on Words

It is truly amazing how Peace Corps represents the true "melting pot" of America and it becomes the vehicle by which true cultural exchange takes place between Americans and Host country natives as well as between Peace Corps Volunteers.  Below is an example of difference and the unintended consequences of misunderstanding of cultural diversity within the American culture.

 I took a weekend trip to visit my PC buddy. He recently moved into his new space and I wanted to see it plus enjoy a weekend away from home. The area is beautiful and serene. That night we went to a party at another PCV's place.  The party was great and there was a mixed crowd with us PCVs and Filipinos who were close friends of the PCV hosting the party. Everyone was eating snacks and drinking beer. We played "Pinoy Henyo" a game where a piece of paper is placed on your head and you guess the noun (similar to Pictionary). My item was rice or Kanin in Tagalog. I began asking questions which lead me to guessing kitchen items. I thought about guessing the stove and said "is it an eye" everyone said huh, so I pointed to it. They said "you mean stove or burner?". I said" no its called an eye".  The PCVs gave me weird looks and laughed at what I was saying. Then I said "well maybe its just a black thing". My PC buddy replied "that's weird" and another commented, "that's not what it's called, she probably made it up". Then someone asked well why is it called an eye, and I stated well it looks like an eye with eyelashes? I don't know, its just the name that I have always known for it, and have grown up knowing it as that (culture).

At that point the Filipinos were trying to establish if this was indeed another name for a burner on the stove.  Many times this is more than one name for an item, especially in different regions of the country or among different groups of people.  So naturally I felt offended and I became very agitated.  It was ironic that we are thousand of miles away from home learning about a new culture but not tolerant to difference within our own culture.  No to mention how I am perceived by the Filipinos who are still trying to figure out if this is the actual name of that part of the stove. THE GAME IS PAUSED DURING THIS LITTLE INTERMISSION.  After this we continued to play a few more rounds.

I had to establish my credibility with this and did what anyone in my position would do; poll the black audience. Of course of the people I texted everyone responded that this was the name for the burner.  I felt better that I was understood! Woo sa!

On our walk back to my PC buddy's place, I spoke to him more. At first I thought they were not taking me seriously but that was not the case.  He said he never heard of that.  I told him that instead of saying that's weird that he should say things like "Hmm never heard of that being called that but okay" or something to that affect. Its not always what you say but how you say it that matters.  Then I explained to him that in the Northeast there are even different words for things like soda (pop) etc.  He got my point and understood where I was coming from.

After this event occurred I debated calling my godmother and telling her what happened, but then I realized there was no need as I imagined the conversation going like this.

Gma: Hey boo, what's up?

Me: Um, nothing much you know the same ole, same ole.

Gma: Okay, so are you traveling now or at home?  Something's up for you to be calling.

Me: No, I'm not at home, I came to visit another PCV this weekend so we've been hanging out.

Gma: Hmmmmm. Cool beans.

Me: So I called you because I'm upset. I feel like the other non-black PCVs don't understand me or black culture for that matter. I just want to scream.

SILENCE

Gma: What now? What occurred?

Me: Explaining the situation aforementioned.

Gma: Long sigh. And so. . . . how did this situation make you feel at that moment? (Typical social worker question)

Me: I was pissed the hell off and felt rejected within my own group! (Me near tears).

Gma: Well . . . tell them that.  I'm half way around the world and although I empathize with you, I can't do anything about it baby.  And they are not mind readers and won't know how you feel unless you say it. If you're not ready to talk about it right now or don't know the best way of saying it, take a few days to yourself to think about the situation and their intent. If it still means a lot to you to say something then do, if not then don't but you have to decide. I can't do that for you. Regardless of the outcome I'm proud of you and believe in you.

SILENCE

Me: Okay.

Gma: Well boo, I gotta run and you better also since this call is expensive. Lets plan to Skype soon.


Looking back on this experience I find it interesting how our tolerance of difference within the American culture of diverse groups is not as reputable as our tolerance of difference in relation to foreign cultures. It's obvious that we are accepting of foreign cultures but we don't give that same consideration to other groups who come from the same country but different backgrounds. At times this can be hurtful and perceived as being very insensitive as well as contradictory to our mission here. It's too early in my service for me to say that this same behavior exists among Filipinos but I see early warning signs among a few stigmatized populations. I just hope we grow more tolerant and I have to remember to be patient with this process.  No one is perfect. Even perfect people use pencils with erasers.

Thanks for your "Eyes" and Ears! :)